


Two and a Half Men

by WeirdFlexButOk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season 6 Episode 2, Caregiver!Dean, Classification Universe, Cribs, Crying, Cuddles, DDLG, Dean is Daddy material, Dean is secretly good at this, Diapers, Fluff, Fussy, Fussy Little, Gen, Little, Little Headspace, Littles, Littleverse, Multi, Other, Sam Winchester Has a Soul, Shapeshifter, alternate universe - littles are known, ben doesn't exist, classification, daddy!dean, ddlb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 08:12:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdFlexButOk/pseuds/WeirdFlexButOk
Summary: Alternate Universe where Classifications are a thing. Instead of Sam and Dean trying to protect a baby from the Shapeshifter Alpha they try and protect a Little, despite Sam being Neutral and Dean being an Alpha...Or so he says





	Two and a Half Men

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO THIS SUPERNATURAL EPISODE
> 
> Mix of what actually happened in the episode and what I imagined happened in between

"We're gonna need some supplies,"

"I have an arsenal in the trunk," Sam replied cockily.

"Not that kind." Dean said glancing back at the Little in the back of the car.

***

"Jesus, how many kinds of baby foods are there?" Sam exclaimed as he looked over the wall of what looked to be the same purred food over and over again.

Biting his lip from correcting his brother that it was Little food and not baby food, Dean grabbed a few jars from different shelves. Despite him trying to make it look random, Sam noticed the look of concentration on his brothers face, meaning he was comparing the different foods in his head.

Dean looked at the Little as he placed them in the cart, he was smacking his lips and chewing, well more like sucking, on the sleeve of his hoody while whining softly.

"I think he's hungry now," Sam uttered looking at the baby as well. Dean looked thoughtful again before walking away for a moment, Sam saw him come back with a banana in his hand.

"We'll pay for it later," Dean said handing it to his brother while he started to compare the sugar content in the juice on the bottom shelf, he looked up just in time to see Sam give a half peeled, whole banana to the eager baby. 

Dean quickly snatched it away before he could grab it, causing tears to well up in the baby's eyes.

"What the hell man?" Sam asked annoyed and confused.

"Give a baby a whole banana and he will choke," Dean stated, breaking off a small piece of the fruit and putting it in the teary Littles hand. He stopped silently crying for the moment and sniffed before putting it in his mouth.

Sam noticed the soft smile on his brothers face as he fed the Little, giving him more pieces after the previous ones were swallowed. He looked...very content.

Soon the banana was finished though and they quickly moved to the more general Little supplies section.

"Alright, I'm pretty sure that there's some kind of, like, paste or jelly you're supposed to put on their butt." Dean said as he studied the shelves for the best brand, which he already knew but would never tell Sam.

"Like, uh, like that?" Sam questioned, holding out the box Dean was looking for. Huh, he'd be a good uncle.

"Yeah. Grab that." Dean replied grabbing a box of diapers and putting them in the cart as well.

"So how do you know all this?" Sam asked his brother innocently. Despite being an Alpha he had been surprisingly caring all day.

Dean tried not to show the panic he was feeling as he picked up some wipes, "Uh, Lisa's got a baby niece, so I've been on a few milk runs." It wasn't a lie, Dean had picked up supplies on more than one occasion but Little supplies and baby supplies were quite different, hence why there were many different brands. But Classifications other that Caregivers wouldn't know that.

"Huh," Sam said, not really believing his brother.

"Shut it."

"I just said 'huh'," 

"I just said 'shut it'." 

The Little seemed unnerved by the sudden tension in the air and started to fuss, the brothers shared a look of panic.

"Alright, we gotta get moving. We got the water works in T minus ten, so-"

"Yeah, okay. Go," Sam uttered practically running to the check out while Dean grabbed as much supplies as he could carry.

***

"Shh, shh. Come on, hang in there buddy, hang in there man." Dean cooed, trying to calm the wailing baby

"Dean, make it stop." Sam grunted.

"How?" Dean asked, snapping his head up to his brother.

"Everyone's staring at us like we're Little abusers."

Dean looked round and Sam was right, they were getting some dirty looks from the employees and customers.

"Feed it," Sam said as Dean turned back to him.

"We fed it."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. You think I speak Little?"

"Maybe he needs a diaper change," Dean said looking the baby over, there was no clear sign of distress.

"Oh god I hope not," Sam replied looking horrified.

Dean took the Little out of the trolley and picked him up, all Dean wanted to do was cradle him to his chest bu then everyone would know...

He settled for slight mockery.

"ahh. ehh. ehh."

"Aww, what's the matter?" An old woman said placing her basket on the checkout queue behind the hunters. "What's his name?"

"Bobby." Dean replied.

"John." Sam replied at the same time.

"Bobby-John," Dean said confidently.

"Hi Bobby-John."

***

After their run in with the Alpha, the boys decided to set up camp.

"Dude! Seriously? You couldn't wait until we got out of the car?" Dean said as he parked in the first motel they found.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"You have seriously gotta cool it on the tacos man," Dean exclaimed. Not really the answer Sam was hoping for.

But as soon as he smelt it, Sam groaned.

"What?" Dean asked this time.

Sam put of a sarcastic smile, "That's not me dude."

Dean looked at Sam with a confused expression but realisation set in when Sam cast his eyes towards Bobby-John, who looked as innocent as ever in his car seat, and then back to his brother. 

Dean let his head fall back on his seat in annoyance.

He sat back up and held his fist out, Sam repeated the action. They both shook their fists three times before sealing their fates.

Dean threw scissors.

Sam threw rock.

Dean groaned while Sam had never had a bigger smile on his face, "Ah, Dean. Always with the scissors." He said cockily, undoing his seat belt.

"Shut up," Dean grumbled as he climbed out the car.

***

Dean got Bobby-John out of the car while Sam went to check in, the little just lolled next to his chest while he held him tightly around his waist with both hands.

Sam managed to get a room with two double beds and a large crib meant for littles, he left Dean to get started on the diaper while he got research stuff from the car.

Bobby-John just lay back and drooled as Dean stripped him of his comfy trousers and untapped his diaper.

Dean had seen much worse then a poopy diaper in his time so he quickly started to wipe the baby clean.

Despite being content to lie in the mess, Bobby-John started to fuss when the cold wipe touched his genitals.

"I know, I know," Dean said in a gravelly voice in an effort to soothe the Little.

Sam walked in and sat down at the table as Dean balled up the messy diaper and wipes and started to put on rash cream,

"Don't forget pow-" Sam began, but was cut off by the smell of baby powder in the air.

He was slightly surprised that Dean knew exactly how to change a diaper. He would never tell his older brother, but before he and Jess started dating, he had found out she worked in a daycare for actual babies. With that in mind he applied and got a job in the baby room so he could get close to her. He quit two weeks later when he finally got her number and a promise of a date, but he had changed his fair share of diapers that week. That made him more than experienced to change the Little but was more than happy when he didn't have too.

Sam supposed it made sense Dean was so familiar to the task. Sam was only a few months old when their mother had died and it wouldn't surprise him if Dean had to help out with diaper duty, despite being only a four year old at the time. And today had proved that Dean was surprisingly skilled when it came to Littles.

Dean speaking brought him back to Earth again and he continued to read a translated passage (courtesy of Bobby) from an old book.

"Okay, alright, you know what? I'll pay you money if you sit still," Dean grumbled. Watching him trying to fix a diaper on a squirmy baby made Sam chuckle.

"This is like diffusing an IED. With poop." Dean said looking at his younger brother, before turning his attention back to the Little that had started to whimper. 

"Alright, alright, alright." He said re-adjusting the t-shirt that had ridden up during the change. "Alright, you...are...golden, Bobby-John."

"Time to hit the hay," Dean picked him up as he was getting ready to cry and began to calm him down by bouncing him and humming 'Smoke On the Water'.

"Dean, you're just gonna make it cranky again," Sam said leaning back in his chair.

"Shh-Shut up it's working," Dean whispered as Bobby-John lay his head on his shoulder.

"Okay. If I put you down, you gonna be a man about it?" Dean murmured, manoeuvring the limp body so he could be lay in the crib.

Dean set him down and watched as his eyelids dropped until the could no longer stay open and the baby was down for a long awaited nap.

"Huh," Sam exclaimed, dumbfounded.

"What?" Dean asked, walking away from the crib before looking back, confirming that Bobby-John wouldn't start crying again.

"You-You're just, er. Actually...not awful, at that." Sam said confounded.

"Dude, I'm barely keeping that thing alive," Dean replied awkwardly while folding up a blanket.

"No, no, no. Seriously, you've got this whole-" Sam gestured to his entire body, "Doctor Huxtable vibe coming off you. You're like, father material."

"Yeah well..." Dean mumbled.

Sam and Dean both got their Classifications tested like everyone else when they were eighteen. Sam being fourteen had little to no interest in what Classification his brother was, unless it greatly effected their lives. But it's really easy to tell what Classification someone will be just by watching their behaviour, especially around their (suspected) ideal paring, but even in normal life most subs can be spotted miles away. And considering Dean was one of the most confident and dominating man Sam knew, who on top of that then brought a new girl home each week, it was plain to see he was an Alpha.

Or at least, that's what Dean made everyone think.

That's what he wanted everyone to think.

An Alphas personality could range from people who basically enslaved Betas to mate with, to compassionate people who most people mistake for Caregivers. And Dean made sure to build a reputation of a rather heartless Alpha.

Dean knew the truth since he was sixteen, and had seen another male Caregiver playing with a Little in the park next to one of the many high schools his father had sent him to. He was just gently tickling her while she satin the sandbox, but it soon escalated to him pulling her onto his lap and blowing raspberries on her neck. Even from fifty feet away her happy squeals danced on the air like the sweetest song Dean had ever heard and he soon found himself with a wide smile planted on his face.

The girl that was sat next to him in that biology class snickered and had said "Well I know what you'll be in two years."

She didn't say it to be mean, but it made Dean think. How could he be a hunter if he had a Little? First, how would he look after them all the time? Hunting took you all over the country, and even older Littles get stressed by the smallest changes in their routine. Second, what would his Dad think? He wouldn't let Dean leave this life, he'd give one of the many lectures he had given Sam about how it was his responsibility, and even then Dean didn't quite think he could disobey his father like that. And the third and probably biggest problem, if he could somehow leave the life, and could somehow find a Little and maybe even another Caregiver to date, how could he keep them safe? Hunters have enemies, there would always be danger. There's always something around the corner, always something waiting in the dark. Hell, last week with the Jinn proved that.

So, since that Biology class, he decided 'screw my instincts, and screw other people'. He managed to chat her up and they ended up making out in an empty classroom that lunch. And so, began his longest and most convincing cover: An uncaring Alpha.

"Yeah well what?" Sam asked, pulling Dean from his flashback.

"Yeah well, as I said, Lisa has a baby niece. I can handle a Little for a few hours, not a lifetime." He replied grabbing a glass of whiskey.

The truth was Dean did want a Little, more than anything. He loved them. Lisa being as smart a woman as she is had picked up on this months ago and started to volunteer to babysit her friends Littles, despite being a neutral herself. But just as she suspected, he was more than capable to take care of them by himself, half the time she just sat and watched how he interacted and took care of them.

There is no better feeling than caring for a Little when you're a Caregiver. Today was Dean's idea of his perfect life, caring for his own little man. Even just his own Little, he didn't really care what gender, if it had one at all. He even enjoyed changing a poopy diaper. Well, enjoyed wasn't quite the word, but the thought of the baby being uncomfortable made his skin crawl and the fact that he cleaned him up, that he took care of an actual Little, made him very happy.

"Crap, I can't believe I missed this," Sam proclaimed.

"What?" Dean asked as he sat down on one of the beds.

"This house on Elm. The-the Mommy was killed, Little was grabbed, but Daddy wasn't living in the house at the time, so he's still alive." Sam explained, "What do you say we go and have a chat?" He said standing up.

"I say let's," Dean replied, getting up with his brother. Before they were both reminded of the third party as he whined.

"You go," Dean said to his younger brother,

"You sure?"

"Unless you've got a badge for Bobby-John, yeah I'm sure" Dean groaned as he sat down on the bed and took another sip from his glass.

Sam grabbed his coat and opened the door, when he suddenly stopped and turned to Dean. "By the way," he said knowingly, "I never said anything about having a Little for a lifetime. I said you're father material, not Caregiver material." 

Sam only caught a brief glimpse of shock that settled on his brothers face before he left.

Dean tried not to think about what his brother just said as he walked over to the crib as the Little started to fuss again, he stuck a finger in his glass and then in the baby's mouth, he quickly quietened down.

"It's good, ind it."


End file.
